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macjunkie
 Post subject: the ceremonial first sales pitch
PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 3:00 am 
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rick reilly is a funny motherfucker :lol:

Quote:
the ceremonial.... first sales pitch

AMERICAN LEAGUE

tampa bay devil rays - coming soon! major league baseball!

detroit tigers - we guarantee we'll get more wins than the lions!

baltimore orioles - steroid free since february

kansas city royals - usually not mathematically eliminated from the playoffs until may!

cleveland indians - this is our year (and if not this year certainly three years from now! or the year after that!)!

new york yankees - home of the most generous, wonderful, caring, dynamic - did we mention handsome? - team owner in america.

toronto blue jays - not just voyeuristic sex anymore!

minnesota twins - we have absolutely no chance, but we'll almost certainly kick the royals' ass

los angeles angels - of anaheim, bakersfield, barstow, fullerton, san diego, tijuana - proud to be your hometown team!

seattle mariners - okay, so we'll continue to suck, but at least you won't get wet!

texas rangers - if you can throw the ball over the plate, we'll sign you up!

NATIONAL LEAGUE

atlanta braves - your one stop bridesmaid center!

florida marlins - root for the uniforms that won two world series!

new york mets - come sit in anna benson's butt heat!

philadelphia phillies - now embarking on our 75th five-year rebuilding plan

milwaukee brewers - steadfastly refusing to participate in that whole buying-spoiled-superstars-just-to-win thing!

chicago cubs - ironically hip since 1908!

cincinatti reds - bet on us!

pittsburg pirates - ben roethlisberger once watched a few innings here!

st. louis cardinals - the best team in baseball, at least until early in september!

arizona diamondbacks - once again featuring exciting between-inning highlights of our 2001 world championship season!

colorado rockies - true, we will lose like the french army, but at this altitude the beer goes to your brain really fast!

washington nationals - a dick cheney shotgun free zone!

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Cal Varnsen
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 3:02 am 
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hahaa :lol:

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Green Habit
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 3:02 am 
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I should do one of these for the NFL.
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macjunkie
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 3:51 am 
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Green Habit wrote:
I should do one of these for the NFL.


my favorite is the JETS.

Just
End
The
Season

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dash sez:
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Ensign9
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 4:30 am 
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Quote:
new york mets - come sit in anna benson's butt heat!


Butt heat. Nice.

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rich
 Post subject: Re: the ceremonial first sales pitch
PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 5:07 am 
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macjunkie wrote:
rick reilly is a funny motherfucker :lol:

Quote:
the ceremonial.... first sales pitch

AMERICAN LEAGUE



toronto blue jays - not just voyeuristic sex anymore!



That's awesome. And my Red Sox don't get a jab?

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GrimmaceXX
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PostPosted: Fri Mar 10, 2006 5:33 am 
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i come back hammered from my poker league and i see this thread.......... it sucks me in, take a look. don't laugh once..... and you had me on easy. oh well, different kind of humor i guess.

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