Post subject: SOTM: She lies and says she's in love with him...
Posted: Wed May 17, 2006 11:30 pm
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Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:02 am Posts: 44183 Location: New York Gender: Male
Betterman
Waiting… Watching the clock It's four o'clock It's got to stop Tell him Take no more She practices her speech As he opens the door She rolls over... Pretends to sleep as he looks her over
She lies and says she's in love with him Can't find a better man... She dreams in color, she dreams in red Can't find a better man Can't find a better man Can't find a better man…
Talkin' to herself There's no one else who needs to know... She tells herself...
Memories back when she was Bold and strong And waiting for the World to come along... Swears she knew it Now she swears he's gone
She lies and says she's in love with him Can't find a better man... She dreams in color, she dreams in red Can't find a better man Can't find a better man Can't find a better man…
She loved him She don't want to leave this way She needs him That's why she'll be back again Can't find a better man…
_________________ "Better the occasional faults of a Government that lives in a spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference."--FDR
Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:02 am Posts: 44183 Location: New York Gender: Male
Betterman is a top 10 pearl jam song for me, and one of the greatest pop songs ever written. Its lyrics are masterful, the music is great, and the delivery of the lines is perfect. It’s one of the best vocal performances of a man singing from the perspective of a woman I’ve ever heard. Betterman is a masterpiece, and if they had made a video for it I think it would have been one of, if not the, dominant song of the 90’s.
First off, Betterman is not a love song. It’s a song about failing to confront an abusive relationship. The music begins softly, tentatively, with an undercurrent of fragile determination that’s echoed in Eddie’s voice. The woman waits in bed for her husband to return home. It’s four in the morning. Where was he? A bar? With another woman? Wherever he was, he wasn’t here. She’s tired of it. This time, she’s going to confront him about it. But when the moment comes she hesitates, rolls over, and pretends to sleep. She lacks the strength to go through with it. Why?
It’s because she’s afraid of being alone. She’s gotten so used to her situation, so comfortable in her rut, that the fear of the unknown (or possibly the fear of violent reprisal if you want to emphasize physical abuse) paralyzes her. She tries and convinces herself that she is still in love with him, but she’s not. She just fears being on her own, and can’t find someone better. It’s an incredibly unhealthy, and sadly common, situation. She dreams of a better life for herself, but those dreams are tainted—red is a color of rage and anger. The presence of this failed relationship haunts her even here
She keeps it inside herself. This is no one else’s business. She suffers silently and alone, and because she does she can’t avail herself of the strength of others. She can remember when she was young, strong, and independent, but the memories of those feelings are not enough to force her to act. She has moments of fire (red again) where she intends to get rid of him, but when the moment comes, she rolls over, weak and trapped. She tries to remind herself that things weren’t always like this—that maybe they will get better. But in the end we know (and she knows) they won’t. There is this dependency, this need to not be alone, that keeps her here. She was bold and strong once, but not anymore. Life has beaten her down….but even though the lyrics offer no way out, the music remains upbeat, hopeful. It reminds us that as long as the spark is still alive, no matter how deep it is buried, there is always the possibility of change. She just needs to stop suffering in silence, to find her voice, and to use it to find someone to help her reignite that inner flame. As always in Pearl Jam’s music, we find what’s best about ourselves when we look with others.
_________________ "Better the occasional faults of a Government that lives in a spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference."--FDR
Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:02 am Posts: 44183 Location: New York Gender: Male
This is obviously a five star song from me. It’s amazing on the record, and it’s fantastic live—one of the few songs I hope I hear every show. Singing the first verse with everyone else is always a great experience, and the tags only sweeten the deal. My favorite version ever is State College 03.
_________________ "Better the occasional faults of a Government that lives in a spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference."--FDR
Joined: Thu Nov 25, 2004 3:00 pm Posts: 19826 Location: Alone in a corridor
5 stars
I fuckin' love it!
And you can all go to hell if you're tired of it or never liked it in the first place.
Almost everytime when I pick up my guitar, Betterman is the first thing that comes out of my fingers. Very strange.
Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:02 am Posts: 44183 Location: New York Gender: Male
LostDog1079 wrote:
Angus wrote:
you can all go to hell if you're tired of it or never liked it in the first place.
Sorry man. If I didn't hear it all the time back in the day, I might like it more. I admit though, when it first came out I loved it.
What would you have ranked it at before you were sick of it?
_________________ "Better the occasional faults of a Government that lives in a spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference."--FDR
Joined: Mon Oct 18, 2004 11:02 pm Posts: 569 Location: Yorba Linda, CA
Gotta be 5. I'd write more, but I'm only on this board right now cause I'm dicking around before a final at 7:00. Betterman has always been a favorite-- I remember hearing it way back in the day before Vitalogy on the No Fuckin Messiah bootleg.
Joined: Wed Mar 02, 2005 3:43 am Posts: 18418 Location: Anytown, USA Gender: Male
not much to say here. never liked it, never will. 1 star.
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In five years, when you get laid and grow up, you should go back and read some of these posts and if you've turned into a decent person you'll realize how much of an asshole you sound like right now
Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:02 am Posts: 44183 Location: New York Gender: Male
Cal Varnsen wrote:
not much to say here. never liked it, never will. 1 star.
god I hate you sometimes
_________________ "Better the occasional faults of a Government that lives in a spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference."--FDR
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2005 7:50 pm Posts: 10229 Location: WA (aka Waaaaaaaahhhh!!) Gender: Male
9 out of 10 girls you ever meet will refer to this as their favorite PJ song.
That aside....this may very well be the very first song ever written that was eventually released as a Pearl Jam song. I would venture to guess that Eddie wrote this one before writing any other song that was eventually released by Pearl Jam, no? Someone chime in on that if you know for sure either way.
Anywho...yeah, it's definitely not my favorite PJ song. A little too poppy for me, but still a solid song. A good sing-along at live shows (if they insist on playing it, that is).
Joined: Fri Mar 03, 2006 10:06 pm Posts: 393 Location: massachusetts Gender: Male
never been a fan. It was good for about 1-3 listens in 1994 before I was done with it.
Would be a bathroom break for me if it wasnt usually late in the set or in the encore. Wish it would go away. Nice perk of the Boston shows in 03 was that it was only inflicted on me once in 3 shows.
Joined: Tue Nov 30, 2004 4:02 am Posts: 44183 Location: New York Gender: Male
VoltÆre wrote:
4 stars for me. Do Oceans next.
I'll add it into the que, but there is a line.
_________________ "Better the occasional faults of a Government that lives in a spirit of charity than the consistent omissions of a Government frozen in the ice of its own indifference."--FDR
Were I to judge this song based simply on the album, it would be a mediocre Pearl Jam song. A great pop song for any band, but PJ can do a lot better - and does do a lot better pretty much everywhere else on Vitalogy. But I realized recently that despite only kind of liking this song, I actually LOVE this song, and it's because of the live show. The experience of standing in a crowd of 20,000 people all singing this song, passionately, on key, is just amazing. You can tell it means a lot to the band to make this kind of connection with the crowd, and to be in that crowd is truly moving. And whenever "Save it for Later" is tagged on the end, it gets that much better. This song was one of the highlights of the second Toronto show this year, despite the fact that I like pretty much every other song they played better. And that is what Pearl Jam does so well: they pour so much passion into each song that it almost bursts. By the time Eddie was singing "don't let me do-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-own!" the other night, the crowd was about ready to pop; it's just a simple 3-chord pop song, but Peal Jam is able to take such a song and transform it into a deeply affecting experience.
A 5 star song easy. There isn't anybody that I know that doesn't like this song fans and non-fans alike. It's story is so relevent to how many women react/respond in an unhealthy relationship. The guitar playing at the beginning that seems to "sing along" with Ed is excellent. I will never tire of hearing this song.
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Joined: Fri May 12, 2006 10:00 pm Posts: 20 Location: the desert
it's weird but i actually like the ad libs eddie does at the end of the song live better than the most of lyrics but im weird like that. For example i think off of the 00's bootlegs the last show in seattle the improv at the end of BM is one of his best.
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